A Question of Life and Honor

... I used to believe that life was fair. I believed that if a person lived a good life and was honest and so on, that they would get "good" in return.. Life is wired in it's ways. I've always lived my life along those lines. Treating everyone with respect, and even in the worst of situations, I've always given people more then they deserved.. I've been sick for the last few days, and during the past few days, something interstice to me has happened.. I've done nothing but listen to others.. Because I'm sick, I've had no voice, and therefore I've had no option, but to listen.. But, during this time, I've learned a lot about various people and an overall understanding on the way the people around me think. Whether we are good or bad in our lives, to others, regardless whether people show their respect to you or not, there is a definite respect that people have for people who share the quality of honesty.. I've tried my best to love all my friends. I've tried to mend all the issues I have with various people, and clarify any misunderstandings that may exist with anyone.. I've cried tears and blood to love everyone. In the end, the one thing I've realized, that I'm still fighting to accept, is: Weather I'm a good person or not, weather I love and respect my friends or not, it's my friends who ultimately have the power to respect me. I can give people reasons to love me, reasons to respect me, as I do for them.. But, in the end, it's their choice to do so.. Should I shed these tears of blood for these people, who in the end, wouldn't do the same for me? Should I love the people, who hate me? Should I love my neighbor as I love myself, and Love my enemy the same? God inspired these words in the Bible, and weather I try or not, this is the type of person I am.. But, the pain and tears that comes from loving someone who doesn't love you, is almost unbearable..
.. Father, "Please help me"..